


Deleted Scenes From The Cutting Room Floor

by TannerWuuut



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Honestly it’s a singing Lena Luthor, Minor Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Mon ew is irrelevant, No Reign plotline, Relationship(s), Secrets, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Who sings like Caro Emerald, lena actually has an amazing voice and spends her time singing, lena woos all the ladies, lol idk what else, she a lady woo-er, singing secret?, supergirl secret, thats why she’s always tired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-03-08 18:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TannerWuuut/pseuds/TannerWuuut
Summary: Lena Luthor has a secret, possibly bigger than the Super secret. But she stumbles into the secret from unknown sources. It’s a secret she was more than willing to take to the grave.OrLena Luthor loves to sing but hasn’t done so in years (since boarding school) and she stumbles into a jazz club and is forced to sing and falls in love with the feeling all over again.





	1. Back It Up

**Author's Note:**

> So like I’ve been kicking this idea around for a while now, like I heard a song and happened to glance at a picture of Katie McGrath and I was like “yooooo....what if...” and boom. Been writing this part for a while, tho the length is short, I just didn’t know how to integrate lyrics into my writing lol or the feeling of being on stage, my last on stage appearance was in high school for an orchestra performance. I was viola in a quartet. And this is massively different! At least in my head lol
> 
> But otherwise I hope you enjoy! I don’t/won’t have a upload schedule cuz I’m trash! Haha :D
> 
> Also listen to the song if you want to hear how I think Lena would sound. I’m on my phone, yet again, so I can’t link properly.
> 
> Caro Emerald - Back It Up
> 
> Lyrics are not mine
> 
> Characters are not mine

I didn’t know what I was thinking. It had started raining and I was walking home from a particular rattling day at work. I was just a few blocks from my building when the light drizzle turned into torrential downpour. I ran to the nearest doorway and stumbled in.

The thick bubble of smoke enveloped me and my lungs ceased to take in air. I gagged and covered my hands over my nose and mouth and ducked low, as if my height could stop the smoke from suffocating me. I glanced around, noting the few figures near me were unperturbed by my presence, cigars hanging from their mouths made me roll my eyes. The smooth and sweet sound of a saxophone burst into my hearing and I looked immediately to my right, just as a spotlight lit up half of the room and I saw a well sized crowd gathered around tall tables and stools.

Stumbling back a little, I took my hands away from my face and looked at the man playing on stage, a laugh spilling from my mouth uninvited. He was wearing something similar to a zoot suit. Baggy trousers hitched high up.

“You lost, Miss?”

I tensed instantly and looked at the sudden voice. I let out a soft sigh as I saw a kind older man a few feet away, holding a towel out in his extended hand.

“I...um I didn’t mean to run in, the rain forced me too. Is this-”

“Not a problem, weather has a mind of its own. Anyone and everyone is welcome here, miss. Welcome to club Oasis Nights. It’s our jazz night.” He stepped closer, still holding the towel out to me.

“Oh my, I’m sorry. Thank you so much, it’s horrendous out there.”  
His smile crinkled his eyes as he nodded,

“Weatherman is never right it seems.”

I carefully took the towel and wrapped it around my shoulders before letting my hair down and patting it dry.

The lone saxophone was soon joined with an enthusiastic melodica player, who perked everyone up as the drums started.

“Do you enjoy this type of music?” the older man now stood next to me with another towel, as if it was just in case.

“Jazz?”

He nodded and looked back up at the stage with something akin to pride and amusement. I followed his gaze and noticed a bass player appeared and everything was moving all together in well paced song. It sounded familiar but it was also mixed with something. As if it was remix.

“I do, actually, the mellower kind anyhow.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, my nephew, the sax player, is heavily influenced by swing music but he’s also a millennial so...it has to be his way.”

I looked to the player and saw how he had his back turned to the crowd and was facing his band, as if directing them.

“It’s actually really good, reminds me of Fletch-”

He let out a full bellied laugh, “Fletcher Henderson is his idol, I’m sure he’d be ecstatic you said that. By the way, miss, may I ask your name?”

My mouth snapped shut on its own accord at that question, my teeth making a dull clacking sound. Apprehension creeped up my shoulders, “Uh well I’m Evie, and yourself?” Evie? What the hell, Lena?

“Bertie, miss Evie. I’m glad Oasis Nights could offer shelter to a fine young woman like yourself, but I’m also sorry your clothes got ruined. You work in the high rises?” As he gestured vaguely to my clothes and raised a bushy eyebrow.

Controlling my shock and offended feelings, I nodded slowly. Perceptive old man… “Yes, straight down at L-Corp.”

“The Luthor there now is a helluva lot better than her family. No one round here gives her a quarter of the credit she deserves.” He smiled blithely, his dark eyes soft and kind.

“She could do better, she has enough resources.”

“She do anymore good and I’m sure she’ll have our own superhero run outta town.”

I looked at him closely as he turned back to face the stage, his hair nearly all white and untamed in a short style, a good weathered face that showed he had a life full of laughter. He was barely taller than me with a muscular frame.

He radiated happiness and contentment. As if he had worked hard for where he was all his life.

I looked back to the stage in time to see the saxophone player jump gleefully across the stage to a lone microphone.

“He’s going to ask for a singer, do you sing?” Bertie’s voice sounded sharp and right next to my ear, making me jump slightly.

“Um...a little?”

“Good evening Oasis Nights! How’s everyone doing?”

A small cheer went up as the audience clapped and whooped.

“Great! Now, regulars will know we ask for a singer to come up. Any takers? We play good right now, but get us a singer and we’re even gooder.” A loud roaring of laughter went up in the crowd at his joke as lame as it was, but the crowd seemed good natured enough to go along with his words. More than likely inebriated beyond care.

The gentle music played softly in the background as he playfully picked on people in the crowd, calling out names with teasing remarks. I glanced around, smoke still stinging my eyes and clogging my lungs, as people jostled each other to go up and sing.

A heavy hand gently gripped my left shoulder and pushed me forward, “here! This young lady would like a try!”

“What?! No, Bert. Please!” I looked frantically between the stage and the lone spotlight that squealed loudly as the operator turned it towards me. I had dropped all that was in my hands and had turned my back to the stage to try and get away from Bert and his strong viselike grip. “Bert please I said I can only sing a little.”

“Singin’ is singin’ miss Evie, best to give a try and say you at least did that. Maybe you can thank me later!” He winked playfully as a few people stride up to me and beckoned me to the stage.

“No no no no I’m good thank you though. I have to insist that I don’t-” I gave a loud squeal as I stumbled onto the stage.

A fleeting thought crossed my mind as I stared back at the grinning faces of the crowd, how did I allow myself to get in the situation? Where was the hard ass CEO persona people say I exhume?

Did I want to sing? Sure, it had been a long time since I had sung, and even then it was just a brief exhibition for school. And I still wasn’t chosen, the Luthors hadn’t dumped enough money into the school for them to make me star of everything.

I sang when I was alone, in the shower, softly in the back of my town car and even sometimes when I was in the lab. But not publicly. Not like this.

The only sound in my ears was the pounding of my heart and my heavy breathing.

“-newcomer and a very gorgeous one at that. What’s your name, gorgeous newcomer?”

“Evie!” Bert’s bellowing shout came rumbling from the back and a small round of applause echoed in the room

“Ah, miss Evie. Well the first singer of the night gets to pick the song. What’ll you have us play tonight?” I glanced at the microphone next to my face, eyes traveling upwards to see a soft welcoming face, with gleaming grey eyes. In any other aspect I would think him handsome with his strong jawline and fair complexion, but right now I was annoyed and pitifully afraid.

I was far from the word gorgeous at the moment, my clothes damp and heavy on me, the small hand towel that was clenched tightly in my right hand was also wet.

I grabbed his wrist and yanked him backwards to the band, all of whom looked anxiously at us. “Listen, I haven’t sung in years and the only songs I know that you might also know are these.” I pulled out my phone and unlocked it, pulled up the music app and scrolled to Deleted Scenes From The Cutting Room Floor album.

“Caro Emerald! I know some of her music!” The bass player exclaimed excitedly, “It’s really easy guys.” He took hold of the other two players and moved to his bass to show them the key signature.

I looked back at the saxophone player, “You can replace the trumpet, do you have a looper…?” I trailed off, realizing I don’t know his name. And my face must have tipped him off as he dipped his head slightly and smiled charmingly at me.

“Monroe, miss Evie. I do! But uh...what song?”

It was my turn to smile as I looked pointedly down at my phone, “Your bass player seemed to have decided that for us. Back It Up.”

He took the phone and hit play, holding the speaker close to his ear. I watched behind him as the bass player enthusiastically showed the other two how the song went.

“You know the words?”

“By heart, dear Monroe…”

My whispered response got caught in my throat as I turned back around to face the crowd. A large lump gathered in my throat as I looked out at them.

My hand bumped the mic stand and a low humming sound emitted for a few seconds, making a few people by the speakers wince. “Uh sorry. I haven’t been on a stage in years. I haven’t sung in front of people for even longer. And I look horrendous, I got caught out in the typhoon that’s happening outside.” The crowd gave a small laugh collectively, shifting slightly the longer it took the band to get ready.

I looked back to them and saw them scattering back to their positions, “But uh it looks like they’re ready. So I’ll be starting the night off with a song called Back It Up…”

They all started playing at the same time and it shook my nerves, my ears not yet comprehending the beat or sound. Finally differentiating the instruments, I picked up on the drummers snare and counted down in my head.

“I can’t stop shaking, the room has a groove and the floor, it’s almost earthquakin’ uh huuuuh.” The lyrics belted out of me at a low yell, my nerves going through the roof as I realized how off key I was, but no one seemed to notice, if them moving closer to the stage was any indication.

“Look what we're making, history out on the floor and it’s just awaking, uh huuuuh.” I grabbed at the mic and held onto the stand for dear life as I tried to sweep my eyes across the crowd, trying to rid myself of the fear that gripped my body in a viselike grip.

“So get that needle in the core, scratch that back and give me more, you know ‘xactly what I am came here for, back it up and do it again, from the middle to the top to the end,” I started scatting and the crowd went into an uproar at it, hooting and whistling started and it fueled me.

I started moving around the small stage and got into the music, my voice carrying out over the heated crowd.

“Give me some of that funky, the kind that the duke used to play and make it more swingy, ay ayyy,” I twirled and gave a big wink to a group of gentlemen closest to the stage.

“And then give me some horny, you know that,” more scatting and bigger and louder hollering, “come oooon give it to me, mhmmm.” I spun back towards Monroe and give him a big smile and a dramatic wink.

“Slam that bass and make it sing, give those strings that rip n zing, y’know ‘xactly what I came here for, back it up and do it again.”

I finally felt all the restraints on my body drop and I belted out the scats and humming as loud as I could, hearing a few others follow my lead in the crowd. Everyone that was in the club now crowded around the stage and looked up at me in amazement. I relished in their attention and finished the song with a small laugh, it echoing into nothing at the crowds uproar of approval.

I felt a hand clap my back lightly as a grinning Monroe appeared at my elbow, “Miss Evie! That was amazing!”

Yeah, it was amazing.


	2. Pack Up the Louie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deals are made and someone finds Lena singing. Who though?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully by the time I upload this I fix the tags, I figured out a plot and what I want to happen but at the same time I have no idea what I’m writing lol I’m just enjoying the words flow free, if you have ideas please feel free to share!!
> 
> Enjoy!!

The typing was the only clicking sound in my office, it drowned out that of the clock and soft ticking of the bird feeder just outside that balcony door. I could barely focus on anything else when I first came into the office, sleep addled brain still stuck on switching gears from rest to awake. Coffee barely made a break through the fog, barely.

The only thing that really stirred me awake was the simple memory of the previous night.  
It was anything but simple.

The smile hasn’t left since I remembered the feeling of the applause and hooting and hollering that was done for me. I stayed for a few more songs, getting everyone in on the singing and dancing. I’m sure it was past 1 o’clock in the morning when I finally pulled free of the crowd and found my way home in the light mist of the night.

I looked down at the corrected spreadsheet and changed a couple more problems in Excel before clicking out of the window and locked my computer, I had an appointment that started at 11 and it was now 10:43. It was the same reporter from CatCo. Kara Danvers.

I smoothed out my skirt and stood, walking to the wet bar, I reached for the amber liquid but my hand stopped midway, a thought crossing mind when I realized what I was doing.  
I frowned and grabbed the water pitcher, pouring a generous amount in a large glass and leaned against the bar as I drink thirstily.

Setting the glass down with a soft clink I turned to survey the room, seeing how clean and precise everything was sent a jolt of contentment through me. Everything in order and perfectly in place, nothing seemed too personal of mine and that was the way I liked it.

You should never be too personal in your place of work. A thought and motto that was burned into my mind.

The intercom beeped once and I immediately snapped into focus, hurrying back to my desk was a task I had mastered in six inch heels long ago, and pressed the button twice. Jess and I’s small code for someone arriving. I had barely stationed myself beside my desk when the door opened and in walked the tall blonde, an eye crinkling smile on her face in greeting.

“Miss Luthor, I would just like to start by thanking you again for granting this interview.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Kara ‘not a reporter’ Danvers.”

A red tinge of a blush graced her face with a shy smile as she dug in her bag, producing a notepad, pen, and a small silver recorder.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure the direction my career was going when I met you…”

“Well I’m glad we get to meet again,” I gave her small smirk and motioned for her to take a seat as I did so myself, “I’m assuming this will be about the device my company recently came out with?”

“Yes, but I also have some questions not related to that, though...those can wait until after the main questioning.”

“By all means, ask anything. Ask away.” my voice was slightly hoarse from the previous night, and I used that to my advantage with the adorable reporter.

The blush on the blonde woman never left her the entire interview, only getting brighter red throughout.

  
****

  
“Miss Luthor, I’m getting ready to leave, do you need anything else?”

I looked up from the reports and saw Jess standing resolutely in the middle of my office. She looked tired and I glanced at the clock.

9:21pm.

Well that’s new.

“Uh, no Jess, you should’ve been home hours ago.” I leaned back in the chair and rubbed my eyes, internally grateful that I forewent the makeup routine this morning and rubbed harder. I let out a soft groan as I heard her timid steps inch closer.

“You’ve been tired all day, more than you usually are…”

I gave a small smile, “New project I’m working on, is all.”

She was frowning when I looked back up at her, I could see her mentally look back and try and remember when I started a new project.

“It’s a personal project, Jess. Go on home, I’m going to be heading there myself soon.”

“Before midnight?”

I chuckled, “Yes ma’am, before midnight.”  
She turned a shade pink and turned slightly, timidness now lagging in her bones, “Sorry, I just worry about you, miss.”

I stood and walked purposefully over to her, “I know, dear. And if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t make it home at all. This office would be my home.”

“It basically is.” she muttered under her breath.

I gave a sharp laugh as I gripped her shoulder warmly, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jess.”

She waved goodbye before hurrying out the door and into the waiting elevator. I watched until the doors slid shut and I stepped back into my office and shut the door, locking it with a loud click.

Walking swiftly back to my desk, I pushed papers out of the way until a clean and crisp legal pad appeared, writing all over it. My writing. I picked it up and strode over to the wet bar again, took up the water pitcher and walked slowly back to the couch.

Setting everything down, getting situated myself, I looked at the writing and tried to make sense of the notes and scribbles:

_Inquire about oasis nights, jazz night_

_Frequent there?_

_New song, Pack Up the Louie_

The rest were scribbles of the lyrics that I could remember off the top of my head, the beat already sounding off in my ears. I picked up the small remote on the table and hit the play button.

  
***

  
I pushed the door open and stale cigar smoke rushed into my nose, killing my sense of smell almost immediately.

I looked around the hazy room and saw several figures scattered about small round tall tables, talking in low tones. The clicking of glasses sound from my left and I looked to the sound and saw Bertie rinsing used glasses before drying them. I stride over to him instantly and sat at one of the stools that weren’t taken up by others or coats.

I tapped the counter once and looked at the wall of alcohol behind Bertie. The bottles were empty, sadly, but the bottles were clearly vintage. I squinted a little to see the labels and saw tiny plaques below them, stating the year and brand. It went back all the way to the 1920s. I glanced over the bottles and the earlier the year, the more surprise raised my brows.

“Took years, miss Evie. Years.” Bertie was standing in front of Lena now and he was also admiring the bottles.

“Collector of old things?” The deepness of my voice rattled my own eardrums.

He glanced back at me and winked playfully, “Some people call them old things, I call it art.”

“Art?”

He nodded cheerfully, “Art, because everything humans and non humans do, will always be works of art. These bottles...well they show one of the many deadly arts.” He let out a small hum, glaring softly at the counter before looking up at me with an inquiring gaze.

I looked back at him, feigning innocence on the subject. I thought I saw a small flicker of recognition in his eyes but the light quickly disappeared and was replaced with jubilance.

“What can I do for you, miss Evie?”

I sat up straighter and looked at him evenly and level, “Last night…”

He let out a full bellied laugh and grinned at me, “One if the liveliest nights this here club has ever seen. And I have you to thank for that.” His eyes shimmered with glee.

“Really, I need to thank you. I haven’t sung like that...at all. No really, I haven’t sung with that much jazz and sass at all.” I reached across the counter and gently placed my hand over his, His were calloused and rough with years of hard work.

He nodded so I continued, “And I’m here to propose and idea to you...or rather put a bug in your ear.”

“And that bug would be?”

“Jazz night is a weekly thing?” He shook his head, “Right, I figured that and I came here to see if you’ll start making it a weekly thing and I would, be a regular. You’ll have other performers of course, fill the night with music.”

“Why?”

“You gave me something that I haven’t had in years, that feeling of making something good and having people love it. Working my day job...I don’t get any of that.”

With all the work I put in at LCorp and making it a force for good and not having great reception a good portion of the time...it starts getting to you. And finding even the smallest praise for anything outside of LCorp was a godsend to me.

It was most definitely a huge uplift in my life to find that my singing was a huge hit with people in my new city.

“So say I agree, what else do you have to offer?”

I looked up at him and gave a small smirk, “Well Bertie, the more regular jazz nights are, the more foot traffic you’ll have. I don’t know what your monthly income is, but I can assure you that you’ll have an influx of customers and more revenue. People left talking about this, they left excited, the music made them excited and-”

“Is this a personal financial gain, miss Evie?”

A stone dropped from my throat to my stomach, weighing heavy with dread.

“N-no. It’s not. I’m not going to ask for any portion of the money you gain.”

“Why not?”

“This is purely, purely, a pick me up for me. My work isn’t one of those jobs that hands out kudos for working there. It’s stressful and burdensome and god dammit they need to do something about the Luthors.” Anger flamed in my extremities at the thought of people hating me just for my last name. I wanted something done about my family but I can’t even do that myself.

He was quiet, letting me calm down and get my bearings again. But he stayed quiet as if in thought for his next words.

“The Luthor in charge at your work, is probably one of best we will see out of that family. One of the best people the world will know. They just need to give her time and a chance.” His low gruff voice was soft yet had an edge of determination to it. His belief in me blew me over.

A few moments of quiet past between us until he was called down the bar from another customer. The second he left, I blinked fiercely and tried to clear my throat from the emotion that waved over me after his last word.  
He came back with a glass of water and a small bowl of peanuts, a small grin back in place.

“If I may ask, why are you so keen and adamant on the Luthor being good and...trustworthy? Everyone else has no problem blaming her when events go sour.” I looked at him inquiringly and watched as he pondered while bobbing his head.

He purses his lips slightly before smiling a little, “I bet. Listen, miss Evie. I like what you have to say about this. And I’m going to agree. But, hold off that smile, but I want to make it clear I’m not doing it for money. The extra buck I make is going to charity. One Supergirl and miss Luthor both approve of, too many of them are scams.”

I let out a low chuckle and stuck out a hand to him, “Bertie, you got a deal then?”

He raised an eyebrow at my extended hand before taking it enthusiastically, “We got a deal. I’ll tell my nephew when he comes in tomorrow.”

  
****

  
“ _The clock rings and it’s half past eleven, can’t believe it that the time just flies_ ,” I was sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage at the club the next day and was rehearsing for that night. I gave a thumbs up to Monroe as the volume of the mic needed to be upped, “ _Soon I’ll be on a cruise into heaven, hearin’ stories and a thousand lies_.”

I started moving with beat and saw that Monroe and Bertie were laughing at me, bopping in place on an old stool. I gave them a wink and kept singing, “ _Gotta pack, gotta pack up the louie, and I can’t leave a thing behind, Gotta pack, gotta pack up the Louie, For every different change of mind, I got a pocket for every reason, Every season be another day, I gotta pack, gotta pack up the Louie, I love my Louie when I go away._ ”

I slid off the stool and started really getting into the lyrics, “ _I gotta get to pier 19, pier 19 on the westside, is there a porter somewhere, for a lady in despair, can you help little me? Get this fabulous rump in the aaaaair?_ ” I wiggled my hips suggestively and ran a hand down my ass, winking dramatically at the men who stood stock still with their mouths ajar.

The soundtrack bounced off cord and I stood breathless on the stage with the mic giving a low feedback sound.

“What? Too much?”

  
A loud whistle came from the doorway, the front door was open to let airflow in after I complained about the cigar smoke, and I saw a small figure in the shadows where the clapping and whistling was coming from.

  
“That was amazing! That was a cover, yeah? Amazing voice!” A tiny Latina stepped into view and I recognized her from a few intercounters that involved my Mother.

  
“Thank you, so much…” I prayed to whatever higher being there was that she did not recognize me. I immediately turned to the record player and started fiddling around with it, I heard her making small talk with the two men about walking around and hearing me sing. She asked my name I tensed instantly, fear seeping down my back in a cold icicle as I was afraid she would tell my true identity.

  
“That’s miss Evie, a godsend for Oasis Nights. Are you a jazz enthusiast?”

  
The Latina started chatting animatedly with them about big bands and everything in between. I still busted myself with setting all the equipment behind some curtains and turning it all off before slowly making my way to my coat and purse as quietly and invisible as I could.

  
Just as I made my to the coat rack, I heard the Latina woman bid her farewells and her footsteps grew louder as they made their way towards me and the door, “You truly have an amazing voice. I’d pay top dollar to see you. Have a good night!” She waved politely and disappeared out of the door.

  
“Trying to sneak out?”

  
“Wha-no! I was just checking my phone…”

  
“With one arm in your coat?”

  
Damn my nerves.


	3. Liquid Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena drinks, sleeps, drinks, works, and then sings.
> 
> It’s all fun and games until you’re wobbling on stage, at least Lena does it gracefully. Also Sam makes an appearance!
> 
> Characters not mine, lyrics not mine.

“ _ Baby pass the aspirin, something’s gotta work, I know I did it to myself but man oh man it hurts, _ ” the bright lights on the stage were killing my eyes and head but I kept singing through the pain, “ _ that second last martini, the one that went down real smooth, sent me on bender with nothing left to lose, _ ”

 

I pressed a hand to my head and groaned softly, this was going to the the death of me.

 

* **23 and a half hours before** *

 

“It’s a good article. Really, you flatter me.” I tossed the magazine onto the coffee table and looked at Kara full on.

 

“I only wrote the truth...but I’m learning to...keep digging even when all the evidence points one way. There’s always another side.”

 

I nodded solemnly, “Even when it’s hard to find.”

 

“Especially when it’s hard to find…”

 

I watched her look around my office a few seconds after, I could tell she was trying to muster up some courage to keep speaking. I opened my mouth to say something but she beat me too it.

 

“So my office is overflowing with flowers…”

 

I feigned confusion, “Really?”

 

The slow smoldering smile she gave me broke my teasing mask, “You didn’t have to do that.”

 

“Yeah...I did,” I stood and moved towards the bar and motioned to it, silently asking if she wanted a drink with me. She declined with a polite smile but moved to stand and make her way to me, “Supergirl told me that it was you that sent her...I don’t know how to thank you.” I shakily grabbed the tumbler and poured a generous amount, three fingers worth of scotch.

 

Her warm hand gently rested on my right bicep and I felt my body tense before relaxing at the touch, “Well that’s what friends are for.”

 

Taking a more than generous swig, I looked at her with hooded eyes, “I’ve never had friends like you before, actually come to think of it, I never had...family like you before…” Lex flashed through my mind and shook my head softly at the thought, ridding it almost immediately as it came.

 

“No one has ever stood up for me like that…”

 

Her hand rubbed slowly up my arm and back down, fingers trailing slowly on my exposed skin, “Well now you have someone who will stand up for you, always.” Her fingers dropped from my elbow to my waist in a tentative touch, I leaned into it casually.

 

“Supergirl May have saved me but Kara Danvers, you-”

 

Sirens started going off just as the phone started ringing, the loud interruption pulled us out of whatever bubble we created and I stumbled towards my desk, reaching my phone just as the doors opened wide and a few security guards rushed in.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“Break in, in the garage sector. Doors blasted open with some sort of explosive.”

 

“Is everyone alright?” The question was asked by two people at the same time, myself and Kara. I blinked at her and she looked at me with an owlish look.

 

“No one was around there, patrol covered that an hour ago. Their round was due again but no one made it before the explosion.”

 

“Thanks Devin. Kara I’m sorry but I need to go and sort this with the police.”

 

She nodded sharply and took a step towards me before giving me a smile and walking quickly out of the office.

 

I walked with the guards to the door, but not before finishing off the scotch in one gulp. It was going to be a  _ long _ night.

 

****

 

“A mimosa please.” The waiter nodded with a smile and took off with their orders. Sam was sat across from me with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

 

“‘A mimosa please.’ Lena, it’s 8 in the morning.” Sam tried to copy my voice, her falsetto completely off if I had anything to say about it.

 

“That’s not how I sound, and so what? Breakfast of champions.”

 

“You spent half the night dealing with a break in, and the other half with aged scotch and paperwork. We could’ve moved this consultation to next week.”

 

I waved my hands at her, rolling my eyes...wait that was a bad idea. Rolling of the eyes is bad. World was spinning. “Please, we move it and we cut our chances of getting this deal.”

 

Sam leaned back in her chair, with a skeptical look on her face. “Lena, when was it you last slept.”

 

“A couple hours ago.”

 

Sam hummed in fake agreement. She stared hard at me before drawing in a breath and spoke very quickly, “And how long have you spoken with your Irish brogue?”

 

I frowned at her, leaning back in my own chair out of disbelief, “What? I’m not-”

 

Sam laughed loudly, although obviously fake, it drew out my own laughter and I couldn’t stop myself. I tried to hide it behind my hand, nails digging slightly into my chin, but the pain and act made more laughter bubble in my chest and I had to clutch the table out of my bout of laughter.

 

I glanced at Sam in my hysterics and saw she was watching me out of curiosity.

 

_ The traitor! _

 

I tried to stop my giggles, my eyes closing as tears started to build up.

 

“Okay okay…fine. I can’t.” I let out a few more giggles and straightened up. Beyond grateful we were in the back in a private booth.

 

“You need to sleep. And drink some water, hey stop that!” Sam's hand swatted at mine when I reached for my mimosa.

 

“There’s work to be...done.” A few stray giggles left me and I sat back with a groan. I was exhausted.

 

“As CFO I’ll wrap up this deal while you go and get some rest. Don’t make me sic Jess on you, she’ll flip your ass straight.” She stood and moved around smoothly before pulling my chair back with ease and ushering me out of it. I stood and looped my arm through my purse and walked in the direction Sam directed me, more giggles making their way through my chest.

 

_ Flip my ass straight, please. _

 

“Darling, no one could do that.” My face ached the more I smiled.

 

****

 

I woke up with a jolt and nearly flung myself off the couch. I don’t remember coming home, or evening getting inside, or laying on the couch. I don’t remember anything after Sam ushered me into the town car and told the driver to take me straight home.

 

My head was pounding and aching all at the same time and it wasn’t pleasant.

 

I tossed the throw blanket off me and gently placed my feet on the carpet. The world spun slightly and I gripped the edge of the couch tightly. “Bloody hell…” I waited for the spins to stop enough for me to stand, forcing myself to move slowly enough that it didn’t ignite the spins tenfold.

 

I stumbled to the kitchen and groped my way around the dark area until I felt the thick glass bottles clink together. Jackpot.

 

I carefully felt my way to another cupboard and pulled a tumbler down, pouring a generous amount in before tossing my head back, much too quickly and harshly, and felt the burning liquid go down almost smoothly.

 

“What better way to cure a hangover, than to drink more alcohol.”

 

I shook myself of a wave of chills and walked clumsily to the office. My bare feet sliding along the hardwood floors swiftly. I looked down at my person and realized I had somehow taken my skirt off when I got home.

 

A flowy tank top was covering my chest but just barely. I shook my head at myself and went into the office and booted up the computer.

 

“Aw I should’ve brought something to drink...oh wait!” I sat down in the rolly chair and rolled myself to the bookcase and snatched up a non descriptive bottle of amber liquid. “Always there for emergencies.” Taking the glass topped off, I brought it to my lips and took a small sip.

 

My hungover state being revived almost immediately after more alcohol.

 

The computer chimed at me and I glanced at it to see numerous emails pouring in about numerous dealings with LCorp, looking at the corner of the screen for the time. I was pleasantly surprised to see it was not past 5 in the evening.

 

“Almost as if my company had a instinct I’m awake.”

 

****

 

I fired off the last email and grabbed for the bottle once more, not having taken my eyes off the screen in the past few hours.

 

I swallowed the burning liquid with ease and relaxed into the chair even more so. Feeling the hangover almost completely leave me finally but with its disappearance was the wobbly sensation of being inebriated.

 

Placing the near empty bottle in the floor, I ran my fingers through my loose hair languidly, relishing in the feeling of the small massage.

 

Leaning back and stilling, I stared up at the ceiling and got lost in thought.

 

_ Yeah baby it hurts a bunch, girls got going and we had a munch… _

 

I bopped my head to the nonexistent beat, slowly sitting up and standing as I meandered my way to my bedroom, dancing slowly and uncoordinated until I stumbled my way into my closet for some night wear.

 

My fingers barely gripped the sleep shirt when a loud ringing erupted in the apartment, scaring the drunkenness right out of me. Clambering out of my closet and to the nearest tablet that was sitting on my bedside table, I noticed it was a phone call from Monroe.

 

A cold feeling ran through me instantly, dread and fear tying themselves together in a heavy knot that dropped in my stomach. This could be about anything and the possibilities stacked upon each other in my brain.

 

I hit the green accept button.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Evie! Evening! How are ya?!”

 

The loud music in the background of his end nearly drowned his words out.

 

“Monroe I’m fine,” a small laugh left me, “where are you?”

 

“Oasis! You should come down! It’s an impromptu showcase! I need my best pair of lungs!”

 

I looked to the clock, the blue lights bright in the settled darkness now.

 

9:37PM

 

****

 

***present***

 

I stumbled to the bass player and kept singing,  _ I think I’ve got the symptoms and none of them will leave, They think that it’s a party to laugh at all my grief, it must’ve been a doozy I’ve had two hundred dreams, at least I found my pillow cuz I can’t find my keys! _

 

I rounded the stage and tapped every player on it, on the nose softly.

 

The crowd was loud with cheering and dancing, egging everyone on. I tried to keep up with the tempo, my head spinning with alcohol and elation, making the spins even more prominent.

 

I reached the edge of the stage and felt a bottle thrust into my hand, I looked at it and looked to the person, it was Bertie with a small smile of knowing a secret and he disappeared back into the crowd. I uncapped the bottle, flinging the cap to god knows where and gulped the water greedily.

 

The band was doing a sort of instrumental to give me time to drink some if not all the contents of the heaven sent water.

 

I wiped my forehead and gave a large smile to the crowd, stepping back to the center of the stage and started singing again.

 

Nothing beats this feeling.


	4. Tangled Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations! Accidental scares! Something revealed?! Oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the chapters are named after songs and what happens in the chapters are based on the songs and MY INTERPRETATIONS. I had to get that out there, so no confusion. And some of the songs I base the chapters off of are the live versions. So I was thinking of y’all want to listen to the songs while reading the chapter that’ll be cool! But not required.
> 
> I freaking love Caro Emerald and Lena Luthor like none other....ugh gay feels
> 
> Also! I started college! Yay me! I’m so overwhelmed! I almost got fired from my day job because I said school is more important than my work at the moment and oooooh boy my boss man did not like that one bit...worth it though. I’m one of the best they got so it was empty threats. Which was a real jerk move on his part but whatevs. Gotta pay dem bills yo.
> 
> My tangents are over. I had a lot of words I needed to say. I hope you enjoy!!!

I slept like the dead Sunday. I didn’t wake up for anything until late afternoon, and the usual blanket of anxiety about wasting a day in bed settled onto me. It’s not all the time I get to do that without having some sort of emergency occur at LCorp. Or some sort of Family travesty happens and my attention is stretched between good and bad.

 

It’s actually been pretty quiet on the Luthor end of things.

 

A lot of good has been happening, come to think of it.

 

I rolled over to reach for my phone when my face hit a plastic bottle, “Ow what the…” grabbing the half empty water bottle, I flung it to the ground before rubbing my nose tenderly.

 

“I don’t know why I said ow, it didn’t even hurt. Let’s see who needs little Miss Luthor this fine….dreary day…” I looked outside and saw an overcast sky, and a mixture of happiness and sadness swelled up inside me. I loved rainy days, but I also miss the sun. Even when it makes me red as a lobster.

 

A few emails from Jess notifying me of important meetings the following week and a few more detailing some of the investors that requested said meetings. I mentally made a list of important details and quickly shot off a text to Jess, chiding her to stop working over the weekend unless I say so. That girl has the same work ethic I do, but even I know when to stop sometimes.

 

Jess:  _ How’s your head, boss? _

 

My head is just fine, I thought. I moved to sit up and a full throb settled over the entirety of my body. Oh never mind…

 

Lena:  _ a little worse for wear, but I’m fine ;) why? _

 

Jess:  _ you don’t remember? _

 

I frowned at the message and quickly scrolled up, noting the texts from a few days ago was the last of a previous conversation.

 

Lena:  _ what? _

 

_ Incoming call _

 

_ My Jess  _

 

“Hello?”

 

A soft laugh answered, “well you certainly do sound worse for wear. You don’t remember?”

 

I cleared my throat and moved to get more comfortable on the bed, “No, Jess I don’t. I did some si-work. A few emails to R&D and one to the labs. And did some research-”

 

“Miss Evie Emerald, singing Liquid Lunch.”

 

I froze.

 

What?

 

“I...don’t know what you’re on ab-”

 

A soft chime echoed in my ear and I briefly took the phone away and looked at it, it was a picture message from Jess.

 

“It’s fine Lena, I know what to do. You could’ve told me though. From when you first started.”

 

“Started what…”

 

“Singing! You called me last night and told me to listen! Your voice is amazing!”

 

Terror ran through my body in an ice cold flash as I took away the phone from my ear and looked at the screen. It was a recording that she sent me and I dare not play it. I didn’t know how to feel in this moment. I was aching all over and my head was pounding, now with the reality that someone that knew me as Lena Luthor CEO of LCorp AND as Evie Emerald, cover artist of Caro Emerald.

 

What do I do?

 

“Jess…-”

 

“Lena, it’s fine. I know what to do.”

 

“For what?”

 

She gave a mirthful laugh, it sent an ache through my head at the sound. “I know what to do to help keep you going, to help you with this.”

 

“It’s just singing, Jess. honestly it’s not like I’m trying to merge companies or snag a investor.”

 

A small pause, her even breathing on the other end kept me assured that she was still on the line, “Well...I heard how well you sing, how much you enjoyed it...This is something you  _ need _ , Lee. It’s not every day you, you of all people, find something you love that’s not inside a windowless lab or high up in a tower of a building.”

 

I gave a soft sigh at her words, feeling some relief flood back into my aching body. I really needed to get up and take some pills for this pain.

 

“Jess...I’m so grateful for you.”

 

More laughs, “I know, I’m the best.”

 

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

 

Another small pause, “How did you start singing at wherever that is?”

 

I nestled into the bed for more comfort, smirking slightly as I started telling her about how I got caught in the horrible rainstorm the other week and stumbled across the small club.

 

***

 

_ Several days later _

 

Lunch with Kara was happening soon and if I didn’t get this damned bolt into the proper place, I was going to have to cancel. I stood on a step stool and was teetering on the edge of it as the prototype of mine was rolling around on the table it was on. Why I hadn’t secured it in place was beyond me, I probably thought it was going to be a quick bolting and then I would be done.

 

“You damned thing...stay in place!”

 

“Do you need help?”

 

I yelped in surprise and the stool wobbled under me as I took an unnecessary step back, a step back too far might I add. The falling sensation sent a tingle down my back and into the pit of my stomach until a pair of strong hands grabbed my hips suddenly and everything stopped.

 

I had my eyes squeezed shut at what I thought was the second I was going to fall flat on my ass but nothing came. Ass did not meet the hard greeting ground.

 

Opening my eyes I looked around owlishly and saw that it was Kara who had caught my fall.

 

“Geez I didn’t mean to scare you, Lee.” During her words my feet found solace on the ground and a huge wave of relief washed away the tension a near fall had accrued in my body.

 

“It’s...well it’s alright.” I smoothed my clothes quickly before running a hand over my hair.

 

“Jess told me you were down here and I thought we were going to that new fusion restaurant?”

 

I glanced at my watch and noted the time was well after the reservation at the place. I groaned hard internally.

 

I rushed over to the lab desk that held all my belongings, “I’m so sorry, Time got away from me in here. I thought I put an alarm on for, ah...I did. I thought it was someone calling me...well whatever the case we can still go get lunch someplace.”

 

I grabbed my clipboard and tablet before turning to Kara, who had a scarlet face. I frowned in worry and took a step towards her. She squealed slightly and pointed at my torso.

 

“Kara is everything al-”

 

“Your shirt is…Lena-I don’t mean too-but….shirt..”

 

I looked down quickly before looking worried at her. I had a glimpse of black lace.

 

“Kar-”

 

Black lace? Wait that wasn’t right.

 

I looked down again and saw a large rip right in the middle of my shirt, my stomach and breasts showing freely.

 

A racing hot stream of embarrassment shot right through me and I quickly turned around as my hands clutched uselessly at my torn garment.

 

When did that happen?!

 

“Today is not my day...uh Kara? There’s a rack of lab coats behind the third cabinet on your…right. If you could grab me one please.”

 

A squeaky ‘yep!’ Answered me as hurried footsteps sounded away from me. I groaned in exasperation at myself and my stupidity when it came to experimenting in the lab.

 

A white garment flashed into my peripherals and I started at the sight of it before realizing that Kara had silently made her way behind me.

 

“Yay…” I shrugged it on and turned to face her. She was beet red from the neck up and I felt sorely bad for her. “I’m extremely-”

 

“N-no! It’s not like you did that on purpose.”

 

“Of course! But I’m also sorry for making you come down here and get me when I should’ve been ready for you.”

 

She laughed awkwardly and waved her hands at me, “Lena, it’s fine. It was nice to see you doing something you enjoy rather than hearing about it.”

 

She held the door open for me and we walked out and meandered our way to the elevators, still blushing bright red from the event.

 

***

 

“And it’s not as if they have any leads on me, gossip columns will write about anything like I had a bad hair day because of a few fly aways or I was squinting in the sunlight because I forgot my sunglasses. They’re atrocious, Kara. But believe me when I say, I know how to handle them.”

 

She gave a small laugh, “I don’t doubt that, Lee. But on the subjecting of you handling things…”

 

I raised an eyebrow as I lifted my water glass to my lips, “Yes?”

 

She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table, a serious expression shadowing her features now. Her eyes dark with intent as my heart started beating faster and harder.

 

A pout broke out on her face, “You missed your first game night last friday! I mean I’m glad you sent me a text canceling but...I wanted you there! I was hyping you up to my family!”

 

I let out a sharp laugh and had to stifle myself from giggling more. “Kara, I’m sorry about that but you know my work, you know how I can’t just shift some things. I’m truly sorry, darling. If it’s any consolation my friday night was drab in comparison, I seriously could’ve played some games with you.” I gave her a wink and watched the red tinge of embarrassment creep up her neck.

 

“I mean...that helps a little...And my boyfriend! He was excited to meet you! And my sisters girlfriend, they both were excited to meet the Great Lena Luthor.”

 

A pang shot through me, “Boyfriend? That’s new.”

 

She gave a small shrug and relaxed more into the chair. “His name is Mike and we work together at CatCo…”

 

“Dipping into company ink? Kara, you sly-”

 

“Lena! It’s not like he’s my higher up, he’s actually new to journalism and...everything.” A thoughtful look crossed her face at her own words.

 

“New to everything as in…? Fresh out of college? I didn’t realize you were into younger catches.”

 

“You’re younger than me!”

 

I gave a sultry chuckle, “Case in point.”

 

She spluttered for a few seconds and I watched on in muted amusement at her, her long blonde hair shimmering in the afternoon sunlight of the small cafe she had chosen, blue eyes alight with glee. Her hands waving around animatedly as she tried to find the words to rectify her actions.

 

But I didn’t care about her reasoning behind dating a colleague, I didn’t care about her frivolous ideas of entertainment. No...I didn’t care about those actions.

 

I didn’t care about anything other than her being happy.

 

A weight hit me in the center of my chest as the ice cold realization of my liking Kara drenched me. Or was that the AC turning on?

 

“Lee? You good?”

 

Fuck.

 

***

 

_ I can’t separate your sins, _

_ To me you’re acting like you’re twins, _

_ This is a mess, _

_ Is this a test? _

 

I twirled around the stage and held the microphone tightly, using it as my anchor to hold me down to this reality and not back up in the universe with my thoughts and feelings. I didn’t want to float into the unknown abyss that was falling into a crush for your best friend.

 

I glided from the bass player over to Monroe and continued singing, sidling up to him and making him dance with me. The crowd was more tame this night but it was still a party. I danced my way to the closest people and saw a familiar face. Maybe.

 

The band slowed to adagio and I felt the lights dim. The heat of them leaving my skin,

 

_ Treating girls like a yo yo,  _

_ Is a no no of a mounmeeeental kind _

_ If playing with your string, _

_ Happens to be your thing, _

_ It’s easy to say to both, oh...nevermind. _

 

I gave an exaggerated wink and turned to waltz across the stage when a loud gasp caught my attention. I looked to my left at the crowd, humming and oh-ing with the band.

 

And I looked straight into the gleefully mischievous stare of one, Maggie Sawyer.


	5. That Man

The lines of the contract I was reading were starting to blur together before my own eyes. I glanced at the clock and noted the time. Not even an hour into the afternoon and here I was dreading the rest of the day. I was restless and anxious. Anxiously restless.

I knew that Maggie sawyer saw and recognized me last night. It was just the matter of waiting for her to make her move. I was in a life version of the game of chess. And let me tell you I did not like it.

My hand moved to hover over the intercom and stopped frozen. What did I want? 

Tylenol? 

A snack?

The day to end?

Jess could get me anything and everything, except that last one.

Damn time…

The intercom beeped and Jess’s voice sounded crystal clear, “Miss Luthor, NCPD is here to speak with you.”

Damn that timing!

I pressed once and tried to make myself appear undeterred and unperplexed by this ‘random’ visit. The door swung open and in walked a Cheshire Cat of an officer.

“Miss luthor…”

“Detective, to whom do I owe this pleasure too?”

A grin spread out on her face as she quickly closed the door behind her. “Lena what the actual fuck was that the other night?! I was at that club a few weeks ago and I thought it was you but I wasn’t too entirely sure but damn Lena! You’re amazing!”

I stood quickly and made my way over to her before motioning that she take it down a notch on the volume. “Shh...I’d rather not exploit that part of my life.”

“Do you want to add a yet to the end of that sentence, ‘cause damn Lee! That voice, you need to record that shit and make albums!”

“Detective, I’m sure there are more pressing matters you’d like to talk to me about.” My voice was level and had a bite to it, making Maggie raise an eyebrow at me before clearing her throat and straightening out.

“I just wanted to ask you why you haven’t showed anyone that you can sing.”

“Because it’s my business, and I tell who I want to tell.” I glared lightly at her as I tilted my head a little.

Maggie let out a groan of exasperation and rubbed her temples, “I knew you would be defensive about this,” she looked away as if deep in thought, the room was almost as silent as a tomb, if not for the air conditionings low hum, “You don’t have to hide this from me anymore you know.”

“I wasn’t hiding it from anyone to begin with, just...not mentioning it to-”

“Your close friends?”

“Well I wouldn’t consider you a close friend.” She let out a small gasp and held a hand to her chest in a hurt expression. “Oh stop, you would be apprehensive too if the officer who arrested you wanted to be friends.”

She gave a nonchalant shrug but continued to look hurt. Looking deeper beyond the playful mask of feigning hurt, I could tell that my words actually hit a nerve.

At that revelation, I conceded, “I haven’t even told Sam.”

She looked at me with surprise, “Wow, I know before ol sam…”

I looked at her and I felt the tension in my body melt and soften, “I...selfishly thought that even a Luthor like me deserves some sort of break...Keeping secrets is, after all, second nature to me.”

I gave a small shrug, feeling guilt replace the tension in my shoulders. I leaned heavily against my desk and wrapped my arms around my middle. Soft footsteps came towards me and I looked up and saw Maggie with a soft smile on her face.

“You do deserve a break, probably more than anyone I know.”

****

Oh that man is on my list,  
And oh that man I wanna kiss,  
My only sin is I can’t win,  
Oh I wanna love that maaaan!

I twirled effortlessly in front of Monroe, standing dazed as I was scatting. I held the microphone out for the crowd to scat with me.

I laughed loudly as the crowds scatting wasn’t in sync at all, all the alcohol buzzing in their systems left them a little worse than uncoordinated. I marched across the stage, scatting full on and took up a tambourine and rhythmically hit it against the heel of my hand.

Now it’s like I’m on a missioooon,  
Headed everywhere.  
And if it takes a little long,  
And if it feels a little wrong, who cares?

My baby fits the description,  
And does it easily,  
A little Gable, some Astaire,  
When He dances I can hardly breatheeee

I sang the song out of order, but the end scatting really did fit with that verse. And it’s not like the crowd minded, as long as I was singing. The band stopped and a loud applause rose up and thundered away my laughter. There was definitely more people here now from when I first came here, I bowed and curtsied until the noise dropped down enough for me to yell over it.

“Wooow So many people here! How wonderful! Thank you so sooo much for coming out and supporting our band!” Another roar of cheering rose up and I stepped out of the spotlight for a quick drink of water.

“So fantastic, really, I have no words on how grateful I am that this club and this audience,” a few whoops started, “I’m just eternally grateful that I found this solace for my busy bee life. And now without further ramblings from yours truly,” Held a hand to my chest and winked dramatically.

I walked quickly over to Defender, “This here is one the newer members of the band, fresh out of college, fresh with the ladies, Mr. Fender Bender, Defender Walking Eagle! He plays the trumpet and often times the guitar…” I kissed his reddening cheek and let him play a short spurt of a song.

“And this, ladies and gentlemen, is Willy Walter! He plays all the percussion we have here, just don’t get him talking about his adooorable kittens.” I saddled up behind the drum set and was immediately grabbed into a bear hug and a rather wet kiss on the cheek. He spun me to my feet and I barely staggered straight. A raucous of drum play followed me and the crowd cheered along with it.

A strong hand gripped my shoulder and I quickly grabbed onto it to steady myself. I looked up and saw the eager face of our piano player with the trombone man right behind him.

I shook off the remaining dizziness, “These two lovely gentlemen are Mark and Davy. Twin brothers, might I add. And you’ll see them goofing off around the stage during songs. Don’t mind them, they bring life to the party!”

I slow walked to Monroe, who had a cheshire cat grin on his face the second we locked eyes. “And finally...Mr. Band Leader, heart of the band, adorable face, Monroe! Without him, we wouldn’t have order on the stage and what a travesty that would be.”

****

There were a few groups of people now scattered around the empty room, tables and chairs moved back out to the space for people to sit until closing. I was sitting on the edge of the stage as I glanced at my watch and noted that the time was barely passed 11:30pm. I raised an eyebrow at that and continued looking around at the people still lingering in the club.

“I dare say that people only come for the entertainment and your gorgeous face, Miss Evie.” Monroe sauntered into view and gave me a charming grin.

“Then I dare reply that you might be right.” I raised an eyebrow at him as he easily jumped and lifted himself up onto the edge. “Well done.”

“I saw you had a little bit of a difficult time trying to sit here.”

I slapped his bicep, “I’m sore! You try being in my shoes for the night.”

He let out a loud laugh, “I don’t think stilettos would suit me, Miss Evie.”

“You never know, fashion suits a lot of people, dear Monroe.”

“Is this a subtle jab at my style? I’ll have you know my mom would be very offended that you don’t like her style.”

I tried to hold back the laughter to give a retort but exhaustion was settling over me as it was, so I let out a laughing fit and nearly fell off the stage. His hands caught my arm and easily pulled me back into place.

I glanced around at the room and noticed a tall blonde by the bar, waving down Bertie. Looks familiar…

“Evie? Helloooo…”

I turned to Monroe and pushed his waving hand out of my face. “I’m fine, just exhausted after this night.”

“You have been here almost every night til1 pr 2 in the morning, prior to tonight.”

“Making sure everything would run smoothly just as it did,” A yawn interrupted, “tonight. I think we did well enough, right?”

“Well enough? Miss...Miss Evie we did fucking amazing! The entire setlist was blended so perfectly!”

While he was talking, I had taken noticed that the same blonde at the bar had just got Bertie’s attention and he had pointed in our direction. I had went to grab Monroe’s hand to show him but the second the blonde turned around I had felt all blood drain from my body.

Kara was here.

And the emotionless stare she had going on was the icing on the cake of my immediate meltdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foreverrrrrrrr....here are my usual excuses, lame promises, apologies upon apologies, etc etc I done been busy and for that I a-paul-a-guys for this late...update thingy.
> 
> But on a serious note, thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment like omg you have no idea how much that means to me. I actually just recently went thru a depressive mood and I just looked at past comments and tried to cheer myself up.
> 
> Between work, school, and my active trying of not having a mental breakdown i want to try and write. For my readers and for myself. Holding in the creativity is just as bad as holding in a fart...don't do that.


	6. Coming Back As A Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my....

I quickly grabbed Monroe’s arm and squeezed tightly, my nerves shooting up through the roof as Kara walked closer. “Monroe I need you-”

 

“Lena!”

 

“Shit!” I slipped off the stage and landed wrong on my feet, right ankle rolling roughly.

 

“Evie!”

 

“Fuck!”

 

Kara rushed the rest of the way and knelt down beside me. I slumped into a hunched position as soon as I felt my ankle give, stilettos maybe fashionable but they are not great shoes to jump on.

 

“Lena what the heck is wrong with you?!”

 

I gripped my ankle tightly, blocking all of Kara’s worried fluttering hands. I looked up at Monroe and pleaded with my eyes that he leave and go get me some ice or something.

 

“I’ll go ask uncle for some ice! Don’t die, Miss Evie!” Were his last words thrown over his shoulder. I shook my head at his antics, laughing a little at the words.  _ Die, th eonly reason I would die is because of Kara... _ I looked up at her and saw her staring at Monroe’s retreating figure. She looked back at me with a confused expression, the crinkle on her forehead making her look extra cute.

 

“Miss Evie? I thought Maggie was joking?”

 

I did a double take, “Maggie? Sawyer?”

 

Kara glanced briefly to my eyes, hers a dark blue in the dimly lit club. I felt my breath get stuck in my throat at the sight of them. Her frown intensified her gaze and I felt all the pain in my ankle slowly ebb away.

 

“Yeah, she’s dating my sister.”

 

Next I sucked in too much air and I started choking. Kara quickly thumped my back and I fell forward onto my knees.

 

“You know Maggie?!”

 

“She’s dating my sister!”

 

I gulped for air, “And she told you about me?!”

 

“Why are we shouting?!”

 

I glared at her before clearing my throat and composing myself, “Maggie told you about this?”

 

The eager nod had regret mixed with fear roll through me. I sighed, focusing all my attention to my ankle. I rubbed the throbbing area slowly, trying to pick out my words before answering.

 

“I don’t think she...meant to say your name though. She was just going on and on about some friend of hers singing and having this _amazing_ _voice_. I...I guess I kind of forced her to say who. And when I-”

 

I held up a hand and leaned back away from her. “It’s not that I’m mad at her for having loose lips. I just-”

 

“You know I can sing too, right? We can totally sing together!”

 

Kara paid no mind to the apprehensive look on my face as she kept on talking about how she loves to sing and she would sing all the time if she could.

 

I was happy my best friend and I had something else in common. I was sure that I would feel more than happy to share the stage with her. But something dark and cold kept tugging at the thought.

 

“Miss Evie! Here. Straight from the cooler. A nice, cold bottle of champagne.”

 

Monroe came sliding into view on his knees, pressing the ice cold bottle against my ankle the instant he was within reach. The cold shocked me and I let out a gasp as he grasped my ankle tightly. I reached down and rubbed the pangs away, whispering to Monroe, “Thank you so much. You’re a much needed distraction.”

 

He glanced up at me and winked, “Anything for my best pair of lungs.”

 

He suddenly straightened out and looked at Kara with a suspicious glare, “Hey you mind helping me move Miss Evie to the table? Ground is kinda cold and dirty.” He winked at Kara as she nodded and they both easily lifted me up and swung me to the table.

 

Kara kept her arm around my shoulder as Monroe pulled up a chair and started taking off my shoe gently.

 

“So do you sing every night?”

 

I glanced at her, “Not really no, I’m kind of...well sort of like the headliner. I sing big shows every two weeks here but I also partake in the open karaoke nights.”

 

“Miss Evie is beloved by all here. And she only sings when it suits her. Trying to get her to sing on a bad night is like pushing a wall an inch to the left. Just won’t happen.” Monroe smiled blithely at the both of us, “You need a wrap so I got some backstage. I can take you to the hospital after-”

 

“No! It’s okay, I got her.” Monroe and I both looked at Kara, “it’s no big deal. I know where this one lives also.” The awkward pat on the back did not go unnoticed by Monroe, he raised a single skeptical eyebrow at her but glanced at me for assurance. I gave him a small smile and looked down at my ankle.

 

“I...well thank you, Kara.”

 

****

 

I convinced Kara to forgo the hospital and instead go to my labs. She reluctantly and hastily agreed when I unlocked the doors to stop her driving. I was smug for getting my way, I didn’t want to cause headlines to appear and have the club realize who I am. Not yet, not like that.

 

“How long have you been singing there?” She was carefully wrapping my ankle in an Ace bandage, a quick X-ray showed nothing broke.

 

“A couple months.”

 

She hummed in answer, keeping her eyes glued to my ankle.

 

“How’s...your boyfriend?” A question I never thought I would have to ask. I frowned a little while I looked away, eyes scanning the room but not really seeing anything in particular.

 

“Good, I think having a boyfriend is better dreaming than actually having one.”

 

That caught my attention, “how so?”

 

She finally looked up at me and I saw how detached she was feeling. “Well, mike is great and all. But I guess all the time of fantasizing about a boyfriend made me have high expectations. I just feel...I don’t know. Like something is missing.”

 

“Do you spend a lot of time together…?”

 

She quickly ducked behind a table, a blush blooming on her cheeks, “we uh...wow that’s a lot of supplies. Is there a hospital in there?” The weak laughter died as I kept a straight face and steady gaze on her.

 

She stood straight, sighing softly, “we sort of live together…?”

 

“Are you asking or telling me?”

 

She gave a heavier sigh, “Telling, don’t judge me please. My sister already does that.”

 

I gave a humorless laugh as I slid off the table, putting little weight on my right leg, “You're in the presence of the most talked about person in National City, no, more like entire planet. My name is synonymous with hate and aliens. I’ve been judged by the youngest person alive more times than I can count. I don’t judge, at least not harshly so.”

 

I had walked over to her, more like limped to her and took her warm hand in mine, “it’s your life, Kara. Do with it what you will. Did you ask him to move in or…?”

 

She relaxed visibly and held onto my hand tightly, “he sort of just moved in. No preamble or asking. I didn’t mind at first but…”

 

“Not living up to expectations. I get that.”

 

She raised an eyebrow at me, “do you?”

 

A laugh escaped me, “Of course! My life might be in the news constantly, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to hide stuff.”

 

She stared at me with a slight frown, her blue eyes dark with conflicting emotions.

 

Was this the moment she’d tell me about her superhero antics? Was this the moment I tell her I know?

 

“It’s fine, Kara. I know.”

 

Her chin trembled, tears welled up in her eyes, and the color drained from her face. “I didn’t realize how much I loved him until this moment.”

 

And with an exhale, my heart broke.

 

****

 

~The next week~

 

_ Gonna grab the yellow pages, _

_ Find a davinci of the thread, _

_ To dress me up and make me look like someone else instead, _

_ It’s time for my rehearsal, _

_ The ultimate reversal, _

_ You see, I’ve got a plan, _

_ I’m coming back…..as a man _

 

I swayed languidly on the stool, my eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar face. My heart hurt while singing, chest throbbing painfully as the only thought in mind was that of my best friend. She was in love with her boyfriend and as much as I am happy for her, it hurts to let her go in that aspect.

 

The band started on a instrumental and I bowed slowly, keeping my eyes on the crowd, I gave them a sly smile and slinked my way off the stage. My ankle throbbing mutely in my actions. The crowd parted for me as I made my way to the back to the bar, I shook people’s hands and returned hugs, received congratulations and smiled. I was exhausted keeping up the facade for the night. I was exhausted from keeping my pain hidden.

 

I reached the bar and was about to flag down Bert when a y’all martini glass slid in front of me. I glanced down at the dirty martini and raised an eyebrow, “as much as I enjoy free drinks, I need something stronger.”

 

Maggie leaned on the bar and gave me a crooked smile, “after that performance, I’d agree. But it’s not from me. It’s from-”

 

“Kara.”

 

“Bingo.”

 

I took the glass in hand and tipped its contents straight into my mouth, the alcohol burned slightly but not enough for my liking.

 

“Couldn’t make it?” I flagged down Bertie and ordered a whisky neat.

 

“No, she had to attend to other business…” her tone made me glance at her, disgust was all over her.

 

“Well I hope them the best.”

 

I downed the glass and sighed at the burn the whiskey left. Just what I needed.

 

“You could say that as if you mean it.”

 

I looked at her from the corner of my eye, “I do.”

 

She gave a humorless laugh, grabbed my shoulder and shook me gently, “at least wipe that hurt puppy dog look off your face when you say it.”

 

“You...son of a bitch.”


	7. The Wonderful In You

_ Games, you never seem to tire of his games, _

_ The makeup starts to drift, this is insane, _

_ Another masquerade, where is the shame? _ __  
_ Please forget his name _ __  
_ Hands are tickin' on the clock _ __  
_ Too tired for a walk _ _  
_ __ Your heart is desperately trying to find you

 

I stood with the microphone in hand as I stared down at the floor, Monroe playing the guitar while Defender was playing the bass. I stood alone in the center of the stage while letting the lyrics and music take control. I’ve taken this crush a little too far.

 

But I’m far too dramatic to let it go without a show.

 

_ Why, it’s why you do it _ __  
_ I can’t believe that someone like you _ __  
_ Surrenders every element of you _ __  
_ And you abuse it _ __  
_ So someone you love, you really love _ __  
_ May never see the wonderful in you _ __  
  


The crowd was subdued, it was a week night so not the usual rowdy crowd. They sat all around the club, face turned towards me. And I tried to keep my eyes from wandering too much, finding solace in the back near Bertie.

 

I let the two men play a short instrumental part when I saw Kara walk in, in a breeze. She darted to the bar and was about to talk to Bertie when she turned suddenly and looked directly at me.

 

My breath caught in my throat and I stepped back on instinct. The instrumental seemed to drag on and on. The time it took me too look away from Kara, I had stepped back and was nearly beside Monroe. Who had looked extremely concerned between Kara and I. Something must’ve clicked in his mind and he immediately made eye contact with someone.

 

I gave a small bow as the music died down, it was a nice relaxing evening for Oasis, Cigar Night was reinstated at the push from the older club attendees. So the haze of smoke clouded the vision of many.

 

But not Kara.

 

I walked off stage and quickly grabbed my coat, slung it over my arm, and made for the back exit. I heard two sets of foot falls behind me.

 

_ I can’t handle- _

 

“Lee! Wait up!”

 

“Employees only.”

 

Kara’s voice was cut off by the deep voice of Defender. I skidded to a stop, stilettos slipping on the concrete floors, making me grab onto the wall for support.

 

“I’m sure but that’s my friend, she asked me to take her home.”

 

Friend.

 

_ Since when does Kara lie… _

 

Defender looked back at me with quizzical look, the question evident on his features. I looked back at him with an equally disbelieving/confused look and shook my head once. He smiled at me softly before turning back to Kara and he held his arms out. He was easily 6’5, muscular build, but with a heart of gold. His fingers easily brushed both sides of the hallway

 

He is Monroe’s best friend, he came in with Monroe once and hasn’t strayed since.

 

“That’s good story, but miss Evie doesn’t seem to be remember taking part in it. So I’ll need you to walk the front with me.”

 

“Le-Evie… is forgetful. I’m her best friend and-”

 

“Story time over, you need to leave.” Monroe’s voice came out of nowhere, I couldn’t see anything really passed Defender. Which I was grateful for.

 

They might offer to take me home but I had no such plans of going home or even letting them know where I lived.

 

_ Sometime soon they deserve to know… _

 

****

 

I sat cross legged on the couch, flipping through a book nonchalantly when my phone started ringing. Again. I knew it was Kara wanting to get an answer out of me but I didn’t dare even spare a glance at my phone each time it rang. I only looked when it was a few minutes after with no other disturbances.

 

The ringing stopped.

 

I gave a sigh and leaned forward to grab my half drunk wine glass, the bottle sitting a few inches from it on the coffee table.

 

Maybe I was being too dramatic. Maybe I was too caught up in my own thoughts and feelings that I haven’t even gave Kara’s a single thought.

 

I tried to imagine her reciprocating even an  _ inkling _ of my emotions. And I was smacked in the face with red hot embarrassment in the same instant. I put that thought on the back burner where it belonged.

 

I mean, how dumb can I be for thinking that? She has a  _ boyfriend.  _ A man. The opposite sex for a bed companion. Gross. I tilted the remainder of the wine into my mouth, it was more than a simple swallow, and gave a small burp. I got up and took the empty glass and bottle to the kitchen and stood at the sink, rinsing the glass out.

 

I’ve always found it challenging to be gay and in public. Especially in my family. The Luther’s sure fucked up my dating life and love life. The few women who dared to try and bed me were easily successful. They lasted a few months each before realizing that my family had too much of an influence on my life. Without even being present.

 

I was constantly doing damage control behind their antics and the women….all 3 of them, lost interest. Their safety was at stake they felt. No matter how I much space I put between work and personal life, it was never enough for them.

 

I was...never enough for them.

 

“They can piss off then.”

 

I need sleep. And a ton more alcohol.

 

****

 

The paperwork just kept piling up that following day. The door to my office was propped up so Jess didn’t have to bother with it anymore. We were both running around on the floor of my office it seems, shareholders and board members seemed to never be satisfied but now it was also the employees causing an uproar.

 

Something had changed over the weekend and it was debilitating the entire workforce.

 

I had gone down two floors to pick up more notices, and when I came rushing back into my office I didn’t even get a chance to look around when I sat down at my desk and Kara started speaking.

 

“Lena I’m sorry for what happened but in all honesty I don’t even know what the heck happened!”

 

I jumped at her voice and slid back in my chair, my heart racing a mile a second.

 

“Kara…”

 

“And look, I brought some hot chocolate and doughnuts to start an apology. Doughnuts, Lee! So please please  _ please  _ tell me what happened so I can fix all the wrong?”

 

“Kara,- I”

 

“I just want to apologize, Lena. You’re my best friend,” I flinched at the words, heart hammering harder in my chest, “and I just….I don’t want to lose you.”

 

I sat staring off to the side of her, not really knowing if I could speak or not. The air was tangible with tension and guilt and sorrow.

 

Her gaze was heavy on my skin and the warmth she usually radiated was tentative. As if unsure if I wanted her here now.

 

“I have work to do, Kara. I can’t...I c-can’t talk about this right now.”

 

She leapt to her feet, “there’s never any time to talk with you. I’m just asking to give me a few simple sentences so I can apologize and get your forgiveness.”

 

She placed her hands on the desk a little too hard and I flinched again.  _ Damn my nerves _ .

 

“...I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Now.”

 

The silence that surrounded us was heavy. It suffocated me only because I was the reason for it to be there. I was the reason Kara was anxious with guilt. I was to blame.

 

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly. “Not now, Kara. But later.”

 

Her soft sigh was filled with hurt and it struck my heart harder than ever. Her footfalls started and they grew further away until they stopped.

 

I didn’t dare look up, but I could hear her swallow hard. I knew she was stood frozen by the door but I still didn’t dare look up.

 

“That song you sang last night…?”

 

My breath caught in my throat, a snake of hurt wrapped its slithering body around me in a viselike grip and I did nothing to stop it.

 

“ _ The Wonderful in You. _ ”

 

She hummed her understanding.

 

 “It was fitting for both of us.”


	8. This Is An Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Kara part!! This was weird writing this but I felt it needed to happen! Thanks so much for reading!!

#  This is an Adventure

 

_ Kara _

 

So maybe I was a little forceful with my need for forgiveness. I’m too stubborn when it comes to my friends and their happiness with me. It’s like I need to be validated all the time.

 

And I mean, I totally get why Alex and then call me a puppy. I’m needy!

 

But with Lena…it’s an entirely different story. It’s like every single feeling is intensified tenfold. She makes breathing easier, laughing effortless, wonder amazing. And her eyes are just Emerald gems that entice the heck outta anyone.

 

I looked at Mon-El, watching him interact with customers at the alien bar. His enthusiasm for alcohol often made me frown in disappointment. Him getting a job with m’gann at the bar was great and all but he kept him away at night. Not that my superhero antics let me stay home all the time but still. My nights were lonely.

 

“So Kar, hows things going with Mon-El?” Maggie asked inquisitively.

 

I shrugged and took a small drink, “as good as expected.”

 

“Be honest, Kara.”

 

I poured at Alex and slumped in my seat, “it sucks. He’s here constantly tending to the customers. I’m either at work or flying around. I want to be able to spend time with him more but it’s like when we do it’s forced and all he wants is to stay in bed.”

 

Both Alex and Maggie pulled grossed out faces at my words. “Sorry but you asked.”

 

“We did. Have you expressed your concerns with him?”

 

I nodded, “I have, but it goes in one ear and out the other. He’ll try and be romantic but it usually falls flat because he ends up asking me for money.”

 

They shared a look.

 

“But anyways, I don’t want to talk about that. I just wanna hang out with you guys.”

 

Maggie smiled and nodded, glancing down at her phone. She smiled and nudged Alex, showing her the screen. They laughed lightly and turned back to me.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Just Lena being Lena.” Alex supplied.

 

“Yeah, that dramatic hoe.”

 

I perked up at the mention of her. “Hey can she come down and hang out?”

 

Maggie shook her head, “nah, she’s busy she said.”

 

“But she just messaged you…” I put down my drink and patted my pockets for my phone. The small device slid into view from Alex pushing it towards me. I smiled at her gratefully and unlocked it.

 

Nothing.

 

I frowned at the screen before tapping the messaging app and opening her conversation. My last five messages were still unread.

 

“She’s busy with Oasis, she sent a picture of Monroe sleeping on the stairs after their practice tonight.”

 

“How come you don’t know this, Kara? She’s  _ your _ best friend.” Alex had an accusatory tone, eyebrow raised in suspicion.

 

“Well...I’ve been trying to talk to her for a couple weeks but she’s been distant and busy.”

 

Maggie gave a sharp snort, chugging her drink. I frowned at her and waited until she placed the tankard on the table. “What? She say something?”

 

“No, why would she say something to me?”

 

“You’ve known her longer than I have.”

 

She raised her eyebrows in a mocking sort of way, “right, I have. But that doesn’t mean a thing to little Miss Luthor, not like she needs to say anything about her predicament.”

 

****

 

I was in bed, staring at my phone, Maggie’s words still spinning in my mind. But other than that I was staring at Lena and I’s conversation. I had asked her the last time to call me when she had the chance. But that three days ago.

 

“Lena. What’s with you?” I whispered into the dark air of my room.

 

The door to my apartment slammed open and I heard Mon-El stumble inside. I had just seen him two hours ago and he was still sober. Well as sober as one can be for working at a bar.

 

“Kara? Where’s the food?”

 

I groaned as I dropped my phone onto the bed.

 

“Kara! Food!”

 

Sliding out of bed and slipping on a cardigan, I walked out to the living room and noticed he was leaning heavily on the counter.

 

“Mon-El your drunk…go to bed.”

 

“No. Am hungry. You’re my wife, make me food.”

 

I crossed my arms and glared at him, “I’m not your wife and I’m not making you food. Go to bed.”

 

“You...listen here, woman. I’m prince of Daxam and-”

 

He had stumbled closer to me and pointed in my face, his eye drooping so much they might as well be closed. I slapped his hand away and heard a small crunch.

 

“Daxam is no more. Go to bed. I’m going to Alex’s to sleep.”

 

“No! Stay here! You’re mine.”

 

He tried to wrap his arms around my shoulders but I easily dodged him and pushed him towards the bedroom. “I’m not anyone’s, and I’m leaving. Go to bed.”

 

Frustration swelled up in me and I made quick of collecting items to stay at Alex’s home long term, zipping around the apartment faster than Mon-El can see. He kept grumbling and stumbling around after me, cursing my name in various tones and apologies. I stopped at the door and watched him turn in a drunken circle. “Bye Mon-El, see you later.”

 

“No wait, am sorry. Love you. Stay.”

 

I slammed the door hard enough to hear cracks spreading.

 

****

 

“I feel like there’s a wall between Mon-El and I. Something forcing us apart.”

 

I rolled on the bed to face Alex, a hot gripping pain throbbing in my chest. She was staring outside as Maggie was dozing in her lap. They both had woken up to let me in, wanting to hear what had come over me to bring me here. I was quiet at first, tears forming a ball in my throat, preventing me from talking. But eventually I had swallowed the lump and was able to talk again.

 

“A wall, huh?”

 

I nodded, closing my eyes as the warmth of the duvet succumbed me. Weariness covered me like a weighted blanket and all I wanted to do was sleep now.

 

“If I had my best friend, maybe I wouldn’t feel too lonely.”

 

“She wonders why you don’t come to her shows…”

 

I peeked one eye at Maggie, who was staring right at me. I rolled onto my back and gave the ceiling a heavy sigh.

 

“I didn’t know she wanted me to attend…”

 

They both scoffed at the same time before giggling at having the same reactions. Everyone was way passed tired at this point.

 

“She’s your best friend, kar. Of course she wants you there.”

 

“Have you guys gone?”

 

Maggie shrugged as she yawned. Alex answered, “We went to the recent one, last week. It was pretty awesome. Her voice is just-”

 

“Fucking amazing. Why haven’t you gone?”

 

“Well Mon-El-”

 

They both groaned on cue.

 

“No offense, baby Danvers, but that guy is a grade A douchebag.”

 

I looked at Maggie is shocked surprise, my eyes flicking to Alex right away. Her face was impassive, almost emotionless, as she stared back at me.

 

“If the wall between you and,” Maggie gave a yawn, “bland boy is bothering you, maybe you should look into your feelings for your  _ best fucking friend _ .”

 

My what?

 


	9. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's rushed, I can't keep track of my own writings. honestly had this idea and just ran with it lol without fact checking myself. hope it's great!

“Is everything alright, Lena?”

 

I groaned at the words, the same words have been asked of me for the past week. Since I last seen Kara. And everybody should know by now that no, everything isn’t fine but I’m not going to admit that so that question and it’s variants should be banned from asking me.

 

“Of course, it’s spectacular trying to be...a CEO trying to be a singer.” I glanced through the emails that were sent to me, easily distracted.

 

Alex sighed as Maggie leaned closer, “but really, like everything with Kar-”

 

“Detective, agent. I do apologize that I have to cut this conversation short. I’m needed in a department.”

 

“What department?”

 

I gathered a stack of signed papers, “one that is away from the likes of you.”

 

“Away from people that care about you?”

 

I growled lowly as I stomped my way to the door, the two women in tow. I yanked the door opened and glanced at the figure on the other side, disregarding them immediately. “I’m needed elsewhere, please make an appointment with my sec-”

 

“Lena-”

 

“Ms Lutho-”

 

Kara’s voice cut through me like a plastic knife through fabric. Rough and slow. I kept my head down and my breathing slow, I closed my eyes and everything fell into place.

 

Alex texting me the past few days, Maggie coming up to my office every other day, Winn sending over more schematics and plans for potential builds this past week. Almost everyone of Kara’s friends has been more proactive in my life this past week all because of Kara.

 

Kara.

 

*****

 

_ If that’s what romance iiiiiis, Then what is loooove, _

_ We had our chances, It can’t be undone! _

_ One weekend in Paris, and two nights in Rome, _

_ If that’s what romance is, _

_ Why did you go….home. _

 

I sang my heart out tonight, giving it my all no matter if it was just a karaoke night. People were subdued now as it was well past 11pm. It was a cool thursday night and I was told by a little birdy that Kara was busy. With obvious supergirl stuff seeing as they did not mention what she was busy with.

 

The polite applause was scattered, not many of the regulars were here tonight. But monroe had stopped playing and was vying for my attention as I got ready to leave.

 

“Hey, miss Evie. I was wondering a thing about you.”

 

“Yes, dearest Monroe?”

 

He gave boyish grin, “I was wondering if you might like to have dinner sometime?”

 

“Ex-...excuse me?” My voice was high pitched and squeaky with surprise.

 

“Dinner. With me and...ooooh…” I couldn’t stop the surprised expression at his question and he was quick to remedy his himself, “No! No no no not like that, I think you’re a gorgeous woman, miss Evie, but my eyes are for a certain man.”

 

Yet again I couldn’t stop the surprised expression, “I...Monroe-”

 

“My parents would love to meet the woman that kickstarted my music career with a snap of her fingers.”

 

“Is that how you describe me?”

 

He shrugged comically, “More or less, sometimes a greek goddess, other days a sass filled vampire. But all the same, Miss Evie from the high rises.”

 

I shrugged on my light coat, smiling at him and his antics. “Tell your parents, I’d love too. I’m free next tuesday after 6pm.”

 

“Yes! Thank you, Eves!” He quickly wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a warm bear hug. I froze the second we collided, my hands and arms going stiff right at contact. No one has ever really given me an impromptu hug. No one has ever really given me hugs unless I act first.

 

No one except Kara.

 

And that realization hurt. I haven’t been hugged for what seems like ages. I quickly wrapped my arms around his midsection, he was quite tall, my head barely reaching his nose level. He smelled of freshly done laundry and spices. He was warm, not as warm as Kara, but considerably warm. And strong, he tightened his hold on me and sighed as if content.

 

“I knew you’d be a great hugger, I was just waiting to catch you off guard.”

 

A lump slowly formed in my throat as I hugged him tighter, emotion swelling in my chest. I didn’t know how he took me, and this was a great insight.

 

I’ve never been told I’m great at something.

 

Only by Kara.

 

Someone cleared their throat and I was swung to the left, Monroe squeezing me lightly before turning around and facing whoever it was, “can I help you?”

 

“I need to speak to Lena.”

 

“I don’t know a Lena-”

 

I heard Kara sigh heavily, “Evie. I need to talk with her.”

 

Monroe glanced over his shoulder at me, “miss evie?”

 

I frowned at the ground before looking up at him, taking a deep breath to brace myself. I nodded and he twirled in his spot and ended up right next to me, arm protectively around my shoulders.

 

“You can talk.”

 

Kara’s has twitched, “alone. I need to be alone with le-Evie.”

 

His arm tightened around me, I crossed my arms over my chest and looked directly behind Kara, focusing on a spot.

 

“It’s fine, dear. I’ll be okay.”

 

He turned to face me, hand sliding down my arm to grab my hand gently, “if you’re sure.”

 

“I’m sure.” He leaned down, raising my hand, and kissed it gently. I laughed lightly at his antics before he winked secretively and walked away.

 

As he walked away, he left with my bravery. I glanced up at Kara and saw a pained expression in the usual sunny smile place. I knew, logically, she was hurting too. I was  _ her  _ best friend. But the pain of everything was not having any logical thought come into play for me.

 

I inclined my head towards the bar and started walking.

 

“Wait, Lee.” She grabbed my hand as I passed and I was jerked back by the strength of her. Stumbling into her, I tried to grab a hold of something in my flailing but all that ended up happening was Kara lifting me off the ground easily as if she were picking up a blanket.

 

“Sorry, I just...I need to say this now.” Her wide blue eyes were full of hope and dread. The emotions entangling together to make her eyes seem dark with pain. I was breathless at the depth of them.

 

As much as I wanted to stay in her arms and just stare into her eyes.

 

I wanted to be on the ground. My heels dangling off my toes barely swiped the ground.

 

“Before you say anything…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Can I...stand on my own?”

 

She glanced down, glaring, but immediately her face was colored a deep red from embarrassment.

 

“Gosh Lee. I’m sorry. I’m so discombobulated right now.”

 

My feet slid into my heels as she placed me gently on the ground. I gripped her biceps as I wiggles my feet around to get the shoes on more comfortably.

 

“Okay, thank you.”

 

“Lee. I’m sorry for being an a-jerk these past few weeks. Like I’ve honestly had tunnel vision and it was for one person. I didn’t mean to push you aside and make you feel like this. I know how hard it is for you trust people and-”

 

“I now know how easy it is for you to ditch people…”

 

There was a small cracking sound from my left and I looked over and saw Kara had punched the table closest to us. I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from any of the furniture, but far enough away from the wall. I don’t want to have to explain a cover for a fist sized hole in the wall to Monroe or Bertie.

 

“I didn’t mean to say that, Kara. My anger got the best of me.”

 

“I’m sorry. I don’t want this rift between us to get any bigger.”

 

_ Well that’s easier said than done… _

 

“So what do you propose?” My business persona came out and I felt a chill run between us.

 

“I left Mon-El.”

 

My eyebrow twitched.

 

“I left someone I thought I had a future with.”

 

_ Pang. _

 

“I left behind something that I thought was it for me.”

 

_ Pang. _

 

“But only because I saw that I could have something better, with someone who actually gets me, something with someone that meant a lot more to me than he ever did.”

 

I looked up, a frown heavy on my brow, hot streaks of tears had made their way down my cheeks, dripping onto my coat. Her words had dug deeper into my pain, that her last few had actually confused me more than anything.

 

“...What?”

 

She reached out, hand going for my shoulder, and I unintentionally flinched at the movement. But it didn’t deter her from running my arm soothingly, stepping closer to me as she did so. Apologies upon apologies in her eyes.

 

“I realized I wanted you. Need you. I’d rather have a life with you than a fairy tale with him. You’re the hard work I want to do for the rest of my life. You’re everything I want to work for.”

 

She stepped closer, arm wrapping around me and pulling me closer. I held my breath the very second she glanced down at my lips.

 

_ Someone has a lot of courage lately… _

 

I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her down to kiss me, very chastely. A small peck and I leaned away, rubbing my cheek against hers. My lips were right at her ear.

 

“You’re going to have to earn me, Supergirl.”

  
  



	10. Tell Me How Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets revealed?!

“Sup….supergirl?”

 

I slid my hands down her front, lingering lightly on her waist. “You thought I wouldn’t notice?”

 

Kara was floundering, stuttering over nonsense and flailing about. I stepped away, leaning against a table with my arms crossed tightly. I waited for her to calm down enough to talk about this.

 

“Who… well how?”

 

“How did I know? Well you’re not exactly subtle, Kara. You might as well walk around in costume all the time.” My voice had an edge to it, as if I were angry that she thought that I was fooled by the glasses and the high ponytail.

 

A few regulars were passing by, all them smiling at me and giving winks and thumbs up, one of the women gripping my shoulder and offering thanks. “It’s my pleasure, I love singing here. Thanks so much.”

 

I waved at a few others and smiled at them before looking back at Kara. She was staring longingly at me, her mouth open slightly as she breathed slow and evenly.

 

“Dinner. Let’s start with dinner. I’m making myself free Tuesday evening.”

 

“Making yourself? How are you doing that?”

 

Kara slid her phone out of her pocket, quickly typed, and put the phone back in record time. No more hiding her abilities anymore. I glanced away, stifling a laugh.

 

“I’m available Tuesday.” she said with confidence at last.

 

I winced, remembering what I promised Monroe just a few moments ago, “That’s great, I’m not. I have plans already.”

 

“I know! But...he. I don’t want-” She glanced around, a frown on her face as she caught sight of Monroe laughing with the rest of the band.

 

I looked at them with fondness before turning back to Kara, my thoughts immediately going to what she was most likely thinking,“He’s not a threat. He’s my band leader. I’m meeting his family.”

 

_ How territorial of her… _

 

“Fine. How about after?”

 

She stepped closer, smile turning her lips into a Cheshire grin. I looked up at her with an eyebrow raised.  _ Bold _ .

 

“I can’t promise anything.”

 

*****

 

_ She kinda looks a little ordinary, _

_ But I know she’s kind of shy, _

_ A little work and I think that I, could easily change her mind _

_ Give her a wink romantically, I start to break her down _

_ Go ahead and act real cool, cuz it won’t be long now _

 

The days seemed to pass without much of anything happening until Tuesday. Supergirl, or rather Kara, seemed to love not having taking the long way to my office anymore as she constantly flew onto the balcony. It was different now that I made the secret known, all apprehension seemed to have left Kara magically. Not that I wasn’t glad she was trusting me fully, but it was a little odd.

 

“Alex says you should come to game night this weekend, she’s making the night have a theme and it’s pairs night. Dooo you think you can make it?”

 

I quickly finished typing before shutting the laptop closed and looking at her, “The real question is...Do I want to put myself through that torture willingly or…” I feigned thoughtfulness, turning my head slightly.

 

A fry was thrown at me, the potato stick plopping onto my arm before quickly disappearing even faster. I rolled my eyes at the use of super speed. “I’ll have to think about it, like think about it tomorrow because tonight I have that dinner with my band leader and his family.”

 

She gave a hefty sigh and kept eating. I stood and walked over to the couch, sitting down at least a cushion away from her. Kara gave another sigh before reaching over and pulling me slowly closer to her. Our thighs touched before she was satisfied. I grinned at her and grabbed for a container of lo mein.

 

“You’re not going to cancel on him, are you?”

 

“Why would I do that?”

 

She shrugged before picking at her food, I glanced at her and sighed, “he has a boyfriend. So I’m not really his type.”

 

Kara started choking on her fried rice, I rubbed her back as I laughed mirthfully at the display, “I didn’t real-realize. Ugh. He’s gay?”

 

I smirked at her, “the entire band is gay in some way.”

 

_ Tell me how long until you say you love me, _

_ Tell me how long until you say you’re mine, _

_ Call me morning noon or night, or make it rain or shine, _

_ Tell me how long until you say you’re mine. _

 

*****

 

I knocked on the door, nerves finally hitting me as I realized this was his parents. I heard muffled yelling behind the door and I took a couple steps the side. Monroe pushed the door open, frowning slightly before spotting me.

 

“Miss Evie! Yay! Come in, come in. My parents are excited to finally meet you.”

 

He ushered me in and took the wine bottle I had in my hands. “My parents will certainly love you for….this. How much was this?”

 

He frowned down at the bottle, turning it over and over in his hand before looking up at me quizzically.

 

“It doesn’t matter, only the best for my band leader.” I winked at him and inclined my head towards the interior of the house.

 

“Right, sorry. This way. Mum made chicken pasta and some sort of salad. I hope that’s okay.” he let out a squeak as he ran into his father, who was standing right behind him. I laughed softly before straightening my shoulders and looking right at the man that I only knew as Monroe’s father.

 

“You must be Evie, my son has spoken highly of you.” the man spoke with a heavy accent, probably russian. He was tall with harsh dark features, but with soft green eyes. I could see Monroe in his face but only if I looked hard enough. He held out his hand, bowing his head slightly. Before I was able to politely shake his hand, a woman appeared at his elbow.

 

“Revered almost, hello darling, I’m An astasia and this is Mikhail. Welcome to our home.” She was gorgeous, light blonde hair and gentle brown eyes. I shook both of their hands and exchanged pleasantries . 

 

“Thank you so much for having me for dinner, it’s really kind.”

 

Anastasia shook her head and beckoned us to the dining room, “ Ilia has spoke nonstop about a woman that has started his career in music in an instant. We have been waiting to invite you over and see what kind of woman you are.”

 

“Mom! Miss Evie is the best kind of woman, and its Mon-”

 

His father chuckled, interrupting him, “Monroe, we know. We like Ilia better, but the boy makes his own choices and we just go along.”

 

We all sat down except his mother, who busied herself dishing the food out, “Monroe is his middle name, throws a fit if we dare speak his true name. We’re just waiting on his sister to arrive, she was wanting to meet you as well.”

 

“Oh? He has a sister?” I turned to wink at Monroe, who turned a little paler before shutting his mouth.

 

“You never asked and I never give out juicy details for free.”

 

“It’s true, I never asked about your home life. It’s just that when we’re together it's all about our music, we get tunnel vision. He is an excellent player, by the way.”

 

His parents cheered at that and spoke rapidly in German to Monroe, who shyly replied in English. I watched them interact with their son and felt a certain calmness fall over me. I smiled at them, not wanting to Interject my own appraisal.

 

A door shut just loud enough for me to hear, I glanced down the hallway and saw someone taking their jacket off, back to me.  _ This must be the sister… _

 

“Miss Evie, uh...this is my sister, Alla. She just recently moved here from Germany. Al, this is Miss Evie.”

 

A tall tanned woman met my gaze, her dark eyes widening to recognition.

 

She’s a new hire at LCorp. I greeted her formally. Personally.

 

Shit.

 

*****

 

His sister didn’t say much during dinner, mainly kept her focus on the food and answered in German to her parents. The rest of the family didn’t act different, the slanted use of English words and German were the same cheerful tones.

 

But she didn’t dare look my way, even if something were directed at me.

 

Monroe didn’t seem to notice anything off so I vied for time when I could excuse myself from dinner.

 

The food was great, something I would eat on the regular if I wasn’t so into keeping fit. And then finally dessert, Monroe’s parents seemed to have fallen in love with the wine at first sip and in an attempt to keep my head clear for a quick and easy escape, I declined a glass.

 

As did Alla.

 

Monroe was summoned to the kitchen with his mother and his father excused himself for a cigarette. And the worst possible scenario happened.

 

“They don’t know who you are.”

 

“What did they say when you got hired at LCorp?” I wasn’t ready to explain myself to someone who knows both sides of me now.

 

She smiled briefly, pink coloring her cheeks, “They’re proud of me, I studied my life away in Munich and Berlin, I wasn’t about to go to some second rated company to follow in your footsteps. I went straight for you and look where that has gotten me.”

 

I thought carefully on my words, “Your application was beyond qualified, your head of department sent it to me numerous times.”

 

“You misunderstand me-”

 

I shook my head, holding my hands up in mock surrender, “I don’t though, you and your brother have shown me the same amount of respect thinking I was someone not true to myself.”

 

She laughed softly, elbows resting on the table and her hands in her hair, “Ilia finds the good in everybody, me...not so much. But I saw you Ms. Luthor, and I knew-”

 

She was interrupted by the door swinging open to reveal Monroe with a confused expression, something purple smeared across his nose. The same color on his fingertips.

 

“Luthor? Why’d you call Miss Evie...Lena Luthor…”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl, life is tough...It really is.


	11. Completely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whaaaaaat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited and hastily written as the writers block veil was lifted so harshly from my eyes lol I noticed some mistakes in the previous chapter, I wanted Monroe's fam to be Russian but mentioned German things. I was confused...they're Russian lol

“In short I wanted a somewhat normal life...the club was there and so...was I.” I leaned back in the chair and kept my eyes glued to the table. But I could feel their eyes on me.

 

I didn’t see Monroe wink at his sister, but I did hear him take a deep breath, “Miss...Luthor...Miss Luthor. Miiiiiss-”

 

“Quiet, you brat.” Alla chastised.

 

“I’m just trying to get used to saying her real name now. Miss Evie fits so much better. I’d rather her name be Miss Evie.”

 

“Tough luck. She’s Lena Luthor.”

 

I glanced up at them and saw Monroe smiling softly at me while Alla was studying her hands, “I hope this doesn’t...ruin anyone’s plans after dinner.”

 

Alla looked up sharply at me, her gaze unwavering, “Miss Luthor, you’re amongst people who know what it’s like to have someone drag the family name through the mud numerous times. We know what it’s like to clean up messes that you didn’t do. We understand you and we believe in you.”

 

My heart beat felt like it was outside of my chest, the feeling of it beating wasn’t normal. It was fast and quick. I glanced between the siblings and saw them waiting for my reaction. But my mouth felt glued together but my teeth were chattering.

 

Where are their parents? Why do I feel like they're ganging up on me? Are they cornering me? Is this a trap?

 

Monroe inhaled and I broke.

 

It’s a trap.

 

“Why?”

 

Monroe squeaked and looked at Alla, as if seeking guidance.

 

She glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. He looked as if he didn’t want to reveal something, “Well-”

 

“Our uncle bombed a cathedral back in our home country. He killed hundreds. And laughed as they sentenced him. I never loved him as a family member after that. He destroyed our life across seas and had hate and malice follow us wherever we lived. We were forced to come to America after changing our name.  Ilia has had a much better time adjusting to this place than the rest of us, mom thinks it’s his charisma, dad thinks it’s his eagerness to please,” Alla looked at her brother and a soft look slid over her face, “I think...his music has helped him overcome all the trauma he endured back home. And I’m glad for that.”

 

Monroe had tears running down his face as he stared at his sister, she was also crying. As was I. But the look shared between the siblings had me holding a hand to mouth to keep from making any noise. Monroe stood, moved a chair out of his way slowly, his eyes keeping track of the movements before kneeling in front of his sister and looking up into her face. He whispered softly, softly enough I couldn’t hear for which I was thankful for. It was a moment between them.

 

I got up slowly and made my way to the kitchen, but not before seeing Alla wipe the purple smear off his face. I wanted to awe at them but quickly made my way into the bright kitchen. My first sight was Mikhail turning the wine bottle over in his hands with a look of confusion on his face.

 

“Darling.”  An astasia spoke up, laughing a little as she caught sight of her husband still looking at the bottle.

 

“The amount of that bottle is disclosed, just saying.” I laughed a little at the look on his face, shocked look of a child that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  An astasia tapped the bottle in her husband’s hands and looked slyly at me, winking quickly.

 

“If I ever seen an expensive brand, I’d know that this here bottle, is valued at $500 plus. Easy.”  An astasia spoke up despite her husband still in shock at my sudden appearance.

 

“Good eye, that brand does go for that much. Though, I got it free. Connections.” I raised my eyebrows at them in mock surprise. I leaned against the wall by the door, looking between the two people that had been wanting to meet me for a long time. “Leaving your home-”

 

“Something you should know a little about.”

 

“I don’t know...though. Moving cities is nothing like moving countries. I’m sorry for the tumultuous affair your family has endured. I hope that life here has been a lot better for you all.”

 

Anastasia let out a small noise, tears brimming in her eyes. Mikhail brought her closer to him as the door opened again and their kids appeared.

 

Alla looked between her parents while Monroe walked to the sink and wetted a towel and brought it to his face, “Mom, Al gave me a wet willy again. Can you tell your eldest spawn that, that is extremely childish? Hey...why are we crying again?”

 

*****

The next night

_ Darling do you know, the sky performs a show _ _   
_ _ Each and every night before I sleep _ _   
_ _ When I look up at the stars in the galaxy near or far _ _   
_ __ I’m always with you baby, wherever you are

 

I swayed languidly on the stool as I sang, keeping an eye out for Kara. She wasn’t here yet to the club but I didn’t mind. But I did notice Alla was standing at table and was smiling brightly at me. The night before was heavy with emotion but it was nice. I felt closer to a family more than I ever had.

 

A blonde streak came in and I saw a wind swept Kara standing a few feet away from Alla. I smiled wider and kept bouncing along to the beat that Monroe and the band were setting.

 

_ I look at you and I sure see a genius _

_ It’s kinda crazy like you don’t think I mean this _

_ You filled up my heart _

_ And I know that I changed completely _

 

Moving with the beat, I tried to keep eye contact with Kara the entire time I was singing but the audience was rowdy and it was the fourth song of the night. I glanced around the crowd and appeased them before my eyes wondered back to Kara. And Alla by default, she looked at Kara up and down before looking back up at me and winking.

 

I felt the blush heat my face up immediately, I knew it was going to be obvious with my lingering stare on Kara. But the fact that Alla is also my employee seemed to have flitted from my mind, I wasn’t Lena Luthor here. Not on any singing stage.

 

The song finished without much incident and it was time for a break, the band dispersed into the crowd after agreeing on a time to go back on. I had barely stepped down from the stairs when arms grabbed my hips and pulled me into a steely frame. Kara’s unique scent hit me, honeysuckle and wind, and her warm lips found my cheek.

 

“You’re amazing.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! <3


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